I thought that it would be most prudent of me to send, along with transmissions from your fellow citizens, my own observations concerning the three offworlders of whom I have taken charge. Being a self-professed scholar of the more unusual, I have a unique perspective on this turn of events and am far more equipped to give a valid point of view than many of my fellow Earthlings.
I must say that it has been quite an adventure, getting to know Gorgo, Lipneck and it who shall be referred to as Bob. I am quite sorry to say that I am unable to understand just what their names truly are and am, instead, referring to them simply by the peculiar gurgling sound they made as I came upon them. Please do not find fault in such ignorance.
It was certainly a shock to come across such unusual beings during one of my nightly respites but I have to pat myself on the back for recovering so aptly and coming to their rescue. You should know that I quickly spirited them away to my own abode, where I have set them up quite comfortably. As they do not understand the concept of beds (a sleeping platform made up of a rectangular cushion), I have arranged an old dresser for them to take their nightly rest in. I am, I must confess, still in the process of discovering just what sustenance they prefer. Again, though I lack such first-hand knowledge of more extraterrestrial cultures, I am most eager to gain knowledge.
I do have to say that I find it quite odd that they speak such immaculate English. I suppose it truly is a Universal language, though I dare say you all might have picked an easier one to utilize on your intergalactic journeys. Perhaps one of the Romantic languages next time? Or maybe Turkish. I hear it is quite simple. Perhaps then Gorgo wouldn’t keep shouting the phrase “vaginal fungus” in what is, presumably, its sleep.
Whatever the case, it is a delight to be a go-between, an emissary, if you will. Please do feel free to refer to me as that in the future, if it suits you. My girlfriend sometimes does during coital bliss.
Tags: aliens, Bob, Gorgo, Lipneck, monsters, narrative, narrator, original story, space aliens, tall tale
